Observations on life by Amanda Ollier and Julian Wolfendale
Having recently discovered the joy of taking regular exercise and thinking about what I eat, I wanted to share a video with you.
I haven’t done any real exercise since I left school and although I understood the theory and the potential health benefits, I’ve always managed to find a good reason why I couldn’t find the time, energy, money or motivation to start let alone stick at anything.
About 2 months ago, I got a text inviting me to a week’s trial at Milton Keynes Fit Body Bootcamp, so I thought I’d add that to my list of ‘tried that but it didn’t work for me’. Except that, I decided to really do it rather than just try this time and see once and for all if I could actually ‘do’ exercise.
I like to think about things, a lot, and whilst I may be guilty of over analysing on occasion, sometimes it pays me back with a light bulb moment. You know, those thoughts that pop into your head and suddenly something deeply buried makes sense and associated things fall into place. Well, I had a few of those!
I realised I have never been thin and happy at the same time. I have been really thin, too thin actually, and I have been ecstatically happy, but not simultaneously. This led onto a realisation that somewhere deep in my unconscious I have cultivated a very powerful limiting belief that I cannot be thin and happy. Tosh! Once I’d admitted this to myself I was able to set about creating a more empowering belief to replace it with.
I won’t go into my journey here, because the point of this post is to share with you, just one of the really useful tools I’ve enjoyed at bootcamp. The most joyous discovery that you dont’ have to deprive yourself and eat nothing, or calorie count or do any of those weird fad diets to look good – believe me I’ve tried them all – Cabbage soup, Atkins, colour coded days, Mao clinic and too many to even remember – and this video explains why I can eat snacks and meals all day long and still burn fat!
Check out this video and if you like it, there’s lot’s more info on the web site Major-Fitness.co.uk including nutritional plans, exercise hints and lots, lots more.
Over to the inspirational Helen Colby who will explain much better than I could. I can tell you that it works though
It’s been a busy few weeks for Julian and I. Finally, after a lot of tapping on the computer – and even more procrastinating on my part – we have both published our books. Actually, Julian released Damaged Goods a few weeks ago and has already had his first royalty cheque!
It’s a funny thing to accomplish a goal, particularly one you have held for so long (and if I’m honest so vaguely!) I think it’s been more of a belief for me that one day I would write a book, rather than a goal. It certainly hasn’t been a well formed NLP type goal anyway!
I was very excited yesterday to see that my first book The Self Help Bible – Volume 1 – About Self Esteem and How to be Confident (volume 1 – that pretty much obliges me to write some more now doesn’t it!) had gone live on Kindle, that started the day well.
Then, Julian sent me a picture of the paperback in his hand, the proof copy of which arrived while I was out, and my excitement increased. So, by the time I got a copy in my hands last night, I was well and truly ‘hyper’ as Julian says! It was a real buzz!
I have built it a website, introduced it to Twitter and Facebook, announced it to Google and everything else I could think of, so now my little book has to make it’s own way in the world, and much like a proud parent, I have to just wait and see if I’ve done a good enough job for it to survive in the real world.
I’m pretty good at seeing the good bits in life, so, I can say truthfully that today is my best sales day to date. It’s day one perhaps, but I have sold a couple, so I remain hopeful! I have the next 4 volumes part written and all planned, volume 1 has gone off to be reviewed and a couple of people have asked for a signed copy – how cool is that!
The books are very simple, like me – to the point, yep, also like me, and fun – I hope that’s like me too! It is my hope, that they will bring hope to others by showing how easy it can be to change your life, with a little guidance and some will.
As it says at the top of our blog, we firmly believe that with the right System and Mindset, if you are willing to put in some Activity (consistent Action) then success will be yours!
Watch this space!
In the online world, we hear a lot about how focussing on things, having clear goals and taking action, will allow us to achieve whatever we want.
Listening to motivational speakers and discussing these things is all very well and I can talk for England, when the mood takes me, but I wanted to see if I really could walk the talk and prove to myself that it all works in real life.
Seven weeks ago, I sat down and decided to write my second book. I knew that I could do it, as writing is one thing I have always been good at, it was just the unquantified amount of work and precise direction of my efforts that I couldn’t quite see.
I sat and planned for a week, deciding what form my writing would take and in which direction it would go and then I started to write, believing that with focus and the clear, precise goal of the end product, my unconscious mind would steer me to the finish. It did.
I worked non stop, until 1 or 2 in the morning sometimes, waking up in the night to scribble thoughts on a pad by torchlight and after six weeks, 62,163 words and 491 pages, it was done.
The book has now been approved for publishing and I am only waiting to read the proof copy, before it goes on sale.
Bearing in mind that my first book, written 5 years ago, took me more than six months to complete, this to me, is real physical proof that we can indeed achieve anything, if we put our minds to it, have belief in ourselves and take constructive, deliberate action.
The book ‘Damaged Goods’ is an auto biographical story, about adoption, music, people and choices and will be available soon, as a paperback, kindle and ebook, both from Amazon and all other booksellers.
If you’re interested in having a look, you can get the latest news and see all the pictures that go with it, including some of the famous people from the world of Rock Music that I have met, you can have a look at http://facebook.com/damagedgoodsbook
I was looking through some old pictures today. One of them is of a pretty young girl aged around 13. She is leaning back in the sunshine, laughing and she looks happy, as every 13 year old should.
I know that this girl had a hard time in the years that followed this photograph and ended up addicted to drugs, in jail and with serious long term health conditions to contend with as a result. I know that to this day she suffers because of the immediate repercussions and as a result of the prejudices of other people.
What first struck me as I looked at this picture, was that at the time it was taken, she had her whole life ahead of her. She could have been, had or done anything she wanted with the right tools and guidance and it made me feel sad for her and the things she has missed out on.
Then the real penny dropped. This girl is no different to any of us on any given day. The point we are at is a result of the sum of all our days, thoughts and actions to date. Where we go from here is up to us, we have the power to choose our future in every instant.
New Year is traditionally a time for thinking about rebirth and yet we can do this any day we wish. Why don’t you think today about where you want to be tomorrow, next week, next year? Don’t let the past be an excuse to avoid the brilliant future you could choose to have. Imagine being able to meet yourself as a child, wouldn’t you want to know that this child was going to have a wonderful life thanks to you? Whilst we are all a day older than we were yesterday, today is still the day it always was and will be. What better time to decide to start a bright new tomorrow than today?
Did you realise that everything you believe is only true for you because you decided it is? You have effectively built your life around a set of rules, given to you by someone else, which you at some point decided to accept as your own – often without even questioning!
There are things so very dear to you, that were I to suggest they may not be true to everyone; you may well take offence at my statement. Obviously my intent in writing this article is not to offend anyone, I would however like to make you think a little today.
Where Did Your Beliefs Come From?
A question we are often asked is ‘What is NLP and how can it help me?’
Well, have you ever felt, or thought, that sometimes your life feels a bit like being in a tunnel, that you’re somehow being held back, with no clear way out? Or, have you ever wished that you could get over a childhood fear, phobia or memory, that still haunts you, even as an adult?
NLP has been a lifeline for many people, helping them to make a bridge across an often stormy sea, to a once distant, brighter shore. It’s like someone finally gave you subtitles to the film of your life and personality, so that you can understand it.
It may not be that the people who taught you were wrong, or even misguided in their advice, perhaps it was just that their way of thinking didn’t suit yours. If theirs is the only guidebook you’ve ever had for understanding your emotions, your reactions to things, then is it any wonder that you sometimes feel as though you are not quite in control? More >
Hate. At some point in your life I bet you have told someone you hate them, either out loud or at the very least inside your head!
I remember stamping up the stairs shouting ‘I hate you’ at my mum at various ages and at my younger brother on numerous occasions . If you’d stopped me mid- rant, I would have undoubtedly had a really good reason for my tirade – usually something major like not being allowed out past midnight aged 13, totally unreasonable on the part of my parents, obviously. I would have believed with every fibre of my being that I really did hate them and that I was totally vindicated in doing so.
The problem with an emotion like hate however, is that it is extremely destructive and harmful, not only to the object of your derision but to you too. Here are three ways in which this and any other strong negative emotion is harmful to you. More >
So much of what goes on in our lives is limited by our own restricted thinking. In many cases we prevent great things from happening because we can’t see how they could happen, or simply because they are beyond our imagination. If I asked you to imagine owning your ideal house for example, would you be limited by what you consider to be possible, or reasonable? Would you dare to create your dream house, with all the things in it that you don’t really need, but would like to have, just for the sake of it? If not, then take a moment to ask yourself why. Is it because you believe you could never afford any more, or because deep down you are afraid that to want more is greedy or unnecessary? In either case I would have to ask you, are those beliefs helping you?
Sometimes we go as far as constructing a goal and putting time and effort into imagining exactly what we would like to have, be or do, only to then limit ourselves by the language we use.
A really simple way to improve a goal or positive affirmation is this; just add the words ‘or better’ at the end. This acts as a challenge to the unconscious mind, to not only match what you have described, but also to be on the lookout for ways to exceed your expectations. It prevents your outcome from being dictated by either your own limiting beliefs, or a lack of imagination on your part.
I was reading the paper at the weekend, it was a copy from a few days before, but that’s pretty recent for me! I stopped reading the paper regularly a couple of years ago when I realised what a negative effect it was having on me.
This copy was no different to any other. Tales of doom and gloom, economic crisis and financial ruin, surrounded by offers of ‘easy to get, guaranteed for all’ loans and credit cards. Countless stories of family members murdering each other, old ladies mugged and left for dead, children who’s innocence had been betrayed by someone they should have been able to trust.
Then I came upon a story which made me smile; and think. It was about a troop of over a hundred caterpillars in South Africa’s Kruger National Park, who were following an almost invisible, single silk thread across the road, into the bush, where they would separate and literally go forth and multiply!
This got me thinking not only about the wonders of nature but also about our children. As parents we lay the silk thread for our children, in the hope that they will follow it long enough to get them safely across the road and into the bush. It’s not always easy to watch as they find their own way; sometimes incredibly frustrating as they make choices we know with the wisdom of age not to be the best ones. It takes practice to be able to advise without dictating and to resist the urge to say ‘I told you so!’ when we are proved right.
As parents however, we are blessed with the foresight to see our children as they truly are and to love them because of it and in some cases in spite of it! All we can do is our best and hope that when the time comes, our thread will be true enough and the lessons we have taught them strong enough, to guide them through the dangers and temptations of adolescence and into adulthood, where we hope they will emerge as the beautiful butterflies we know they are capable of becoming.
Have you heard of an American golfer, aged 14, called Zach Nash? Well, I hadn’t, and even if he continued his career and became top of his sport, it is quite possible I never would have given my disinterest in the sport. Until that is, he displayed a quality so rare these days that it is newsworthy all the way across the Atlantic – honesty.
This young man, won a junior PGA tournament in Wisconsin – I imagine that’s quite a big deal for him if my 12 year old is any gauge on competitiveness. Then he discovered that he had in fact played the tournament with an extra club in his bag and promptly sent his medal back, and disqualified himself for having had an unfair advantage. I can’t hand on heart say that I would do the same thing in his position and I suspect not many people would. Isn’t it nice to think though that there are still some people in this modern world for whom honesty is so important.
I might never hear of Zach Nash the golfer again, but you can be sure I will remember the story of the boy who was so honest he disqualified himself after winning the tournament!