Archive for September, 2010
A question we are often asked is ‘What is NLP and how can it help me?’
Well, have you ever felt, or thought, that sometimes your life feels a bit like being in a tunnel, that you’re somehow being held back, with no clear way out? Or, have you ever wished that you could get over a childhood fear, phobia or memory, that still haunts you, even as an adult?
NLP has been a lifeline for many people, helping them to make a bridge across an often stormy sea, to a once distant, brighter shore. It’s like someone finally gave you subtitles to the film of your life and personality, so that you can understand it.
It may not be that the people who taught you were wrong, or even misguided in their advice, perhaps it was just that their way of thinking didn’t suit yours. If theirs is the only guidebook you’ve ever had for understanding your emotions, your reactions to things, then is it any wonder that you sometimes feel as though you are not quite in control? More >
Hate. At some point in your life I bet you have told someone you hate them, either out loud or at the very least inside your head!
I remember stamping up the stairs shouting ‘I hate you’ at my mum at various ages and at my younger brother on numerous occasions . If you’d stopped me mid- rant, I would have undoubtedly had a really good reason for my tirade – usually something major like not being allowed out past midnight aged 13, totally unreasonable on the part of my parents, obviously. I would have believed with every fibre of my being that I really did hate them and that I was totally vindicated in doing so.
The problem with an emotion like hate however, is that it is extremely destructive and harmful, not only to the object of your derision but to you too. Here are three ways in which this and any other strong negative emotion is harmful to you. More >
So much of what goes on in our lives is limited by our own restricted thinking. In many cases we prevent great things from happening because we can’t see how they could happen, or simply because they are beyond our imagination. If I asked you to imagine owning your ideal house for example, would you be limited by what you consider to be possible, or reasonable? Would you dare to create your dream house, with all the things in it that you don’t really need, but would like to have, just for the sake of it? If not, then take a moment to ask yourself why. Is it because you believe you could never afford any more, or because deep down you are afraid that to want more is greedy or unnecessary? In either case I would have to ask you, are those beliefs helping you?
Sometimes we go as far as constructing a goal and putting time and effort into imagining exactly what we would like to have, be or do, only to then limit ourselves by the language we use.
A really simple way to improve a goal or positive affirmation is this; just add the words ‘or better’ at the end. This acts as a challenge to the unconscious mind, to not only match what you have described, but also to be on the lookout for ways to exceed your expectations. It prevents your outcome from being dictated by either your own limiting beliefs, or a lack of imagination on your part.
A short video from Julian on setting achievable goals
If you would like to download the report to go with this video please, be our guest…
I was reading the paper at the weekend, it was a copy from a few days before, but that’s pretty recent for me! I stopped reading the paper regularly a couple of years ago when I realised what a negative effect it was having on me.
This copy was no different to any other. Tales of doom and gloom, economic crisis and financial ruin, surrounded by offers of ‘easy to get, guaranteed for all’ loans and credit cards. Countless stories of family members murdering each other, old ladies mugged and left for dead, children who’s innocence had been betrayed by someone they should have been able to trust.
Then I came upon a story which made me smile; and think. It was about a troop of over a hundred caterpillars in South Africa’s Kruger National Park, who were following an almost invisible, single silk thread across the road, into the bush, where they would separate and literally go forth and multiply!
This got me thinking not only about the wonders of nature but also about our children. As parents we lay the silk thread for our children, in the hope that they will follow it long enough to get them safely across the road and into the bush. It’s not always easy to watch as they find their own way; sometimes incredibly frustrating as they make choices we know with the wisdom of age not to be the best ones. It takes practice to be able to advise without dictating and to resist the urge to say ‘I told you so!’ when we are proved right.
As parents however, we are blessed with the foresight to see our children as they truly are and to love them because of it and in some cases in spite of it! All we can do is our best and hope that when the time comes, our thread will be true enough and the lessons we have taught them strong enough, to guide them through the dangers and temptations of adolescence and into adulthood, where we hope they will emerge as the beautiful butterflies we know they are capable of becoming.
This is a real feel good video which has been watched by nearly 700,000 people. Hope it inspires you as it did me. It’s all in your thoughts !!
Have you heard of an American golfer, aged 14, called Zach Nash? Well, I hadn’t, and even if he continued his career and became top of his sport, it is quite possible I never would have given my disinterest in the sport. Until that is, he displayed a quality so rare these days that it is newsworthy all the way across the Atlantic – honesty.
This young man, won a junior PGA tournament in Wisconsin – I imagine that’s quite a big deal for him if my 12 year old is any gauge on competitiveness. Then he discovered that he had in fact played the tournament with an extra club in his bag and promptly sent his medal back, and disqualified himself for having had an unfair advantage. I can’t hand on heart say that I would do the same thing in his position and I suspect not many people would. Isn’t it nice to think though that there are still some people in this modern world for whom honesty is so important.
I might never hear of Zach Nash the golfer again, but you can be sure I will remember the story of the boy who was so honest he disqualified himself after winning the tournament!